This summer, Jurassic World broke box office records and to date, it has earned over $1.5 billion worldwide. Is it the best movie of the summer? Absolutely not, but the public clearly wanted more big, scary dinos and more Jurassic Park.
To that end, might I suggest a far superior alternative to Jurassic World, which is currently playing over at the Peoples Improv Theater? Hold Onto Your Butts is a theatrical shot-by-shot two-man reenactment of Jurassic Park, with a live Foley artist providing sound effects and the musical soundtrack. The show is currently running through September 25, and tickets are only $20. Time Out New York already named Hold Onto Your Butts one of their “Top 10 Comedy Show of 2014,” but if you need more convincing, here are 7 reasons why Hold Onto Your Butts is worth your time and so much better than Jurassic World.
- Jurassic World Is Too Damn Long. Jurassic World has a running time of 2 hours and five minutes. With commercials and trailers, that is almost 2.5 hours. Waaaaaaaay too long. Dinosaurs are great, but 2.5 hours of them is serious overkill. Hold Onto Your Butts is a breezy 52 minutes, no intermission.
- 100 Percent More Jeff Goldblum. Jurassic World lacks Jeff Goldblum or convincing Jeff Goldblum impressions, whereas Hold Onto Your Butts has lots and lots of Jeff Goldblum impressions.
- The Cast. Only two actors, Nick Abeel and Kyle Schaefer, play every character in Jurassic Park. It is a challenge, but the ways that they distinguish the characters in their voice, mannerisms, and wardrobe (glasses, ball-cap, back-pack) are a hoot.
- The Sound Track. It can’t be said enough how indispensable Foley artist Kelsey Didion is to Hold Onto Your Butts. Not only does she provide all the ground-shaking stomps and dino roars, she also plays and sings bits of the soundtrack throughout, as well as playing the Tyrannosaurus Rex in the show’s climactic finale.
- No Pricey Concessions. At the typical movie theater today, a bucket of popcorn costs nearly $9, and a large soda costs $6.50. You can bring food and drink into the theater at the PIT, so your snacks don’t end up costing more than your ticket!
- You Can Drink If You Want To! One of the best parts about the PIT is the bar, conveniently located in the front entrance of the theater. With $4 beer, $5 wine, $6 well, and $7 shot and beer, it is one of the most affordable bars in Manhattan, and you can take your drink into the theater to enjoy during the show.
- It’s Live Theater, Damnit. Nothing is quite the same as live theater, and the manner in which the cast brings this classic movie to life on-stage is incredibly creative and hilarious.
Bonus: There is absolutely no running in high heels in Hold Onto Your Butts. Everyone wears perfectly sensible shoes for chases through the jungle.
Directions to the PIT: